Avulsion

The only way is through

A source sprung,

And you slowly flowed,

Engraving your path,

Through the dirt and rocks.

Like a tributary you joined my stream,

Welcomed you because of your eloquent speed.

Which made it feel as if this conflux must mean,

That we were somehow destined to be.

You followed me down the mountains,

And told me that we would see,

Promised lands and river fountains,

Rocks that would glisten for eternity.

When it all slowed down,

Our currents gradually dropped.

The ripples disappeared,

And our river got clogged.

As sunlight kissed our still surface,

It reflected what I was shocked to see,

Your reflection had not been one of you,

No, you had been mirroring me.

My sense of direction started dissolving,

I was meandering from the ocean.

And with every conversation we had,

I felt how you would raise my riverbanks.

You convinced me it was just an impediment,

As you quietly left pieces of your sediment.

And with every flood you would assure me,

That it was natural to create new levees.

So I shut my mouth,

As you limited my reach.

But the fantasy you presented,

Started to erode in front of me.

My intuition could have prepared me for what was coming,

Velocity made me blind to a force so calculated and cunning.

Our unity was not gifted to us by gods who rolled the dice,

As I was exposed to how a desire for power was your biggest vice.

The ways you gained control as you would always reframe,

Torturing me as you would dismiss and be intolerant to my pain.

Denying it by repeatedly saying things like:

“How come if I am the one satisfied,

your sense of happiness could ever be defied?”

You left me no choice,

there was but one thing left to do,

And that is to accept,

That the only way is through.

So I let my tears slip into a tiny crack,

And accepted it was too late to go back.

A new channel started to emerge,

And in secret I let our streams diverge.

Most people called it my great escape,

When they found out how I ruptured away,

To travel down the lonely road,

And leave behind what “we” once chose.

Because there is strength in not sticking around,

If it only teaches you how to drown. (Again)

I had no choice but to embrace the flood,

As resilience does not require my blood.

Though I refuse to play the victim,

I’ll admit that perhaps I was the fool.

For not choosing to trust me,

And instead choosing to trust you.

Thought no harm of your charms,

And I defended what you would say.

Now I hate to have learned that in a cage,

Anyone and anything could feel safe.

The words I left unsaid,

Will forever rest on my riverbed.

And it will always hurt to say,

That it was our mistake.

I let in a current too strong,

Time will uncover how I was wrong.

Until then my waters flow to uncover new sights.

And I’ll hold onto that this decision was right.

Though a change in course to chase the truth,

Does not mean I forgot my path to you.

But I could not accept the erosion that came,

When you would play love like it was just a game.